"Boys shouldn't cry. (they should be like diminutive adult males, independent, self contained, and tough. they should bear pain and hurt with a kind of stoicism and emotional flatness exemplified by rugged males in cigarette commercials and by romantic depictions of fighters and the wild, wild west.)


"Girls should always be nice. (Talk nice talk. Never say anything negative. Do nice things. Never do anything that would make someone look askance at you. Nice girls DON'T.)


"Elders always deserve respect and come first. (No matter how the elder behaves, the elder must be treated gingerly, for and elder has power — even if it used capriciously and irrationally.)


"There is only one way to do things. (That is, there's only one RIGHT way to do things. There's only one right way to handle a spouse, to deal with the kids, to have a birthday party, to dance . . .)


"Don't talk, think or feel about sex, money, and feelings. (Talk . . . well, talk stirs things up, gets people upset, well it just causes more trouble. When it comes to sex, money and feelings, silence takes on a precious eloquence. Silence is not only golden, it's high grade platinum.)


"Work first, play later. (Much later . . .)


"The older child must always set an example for the younger children. (Good example that is.)

"Children should always obey their parents. (And it's the parents job to see that their children make the RIGHT decisions — the decisions the parents want. Then when the child reaches the magic age of emancipation — 18 or 21 — the Good Decision Fairy will plink the child on the skull with a charmed wand and make the child a full-fledged adult who always makes Good Decisions.)


"Don't talk about your family to anyone outside the family. (Outsiders will just spread malicious gossip. So always pretend that everything's OK at home, even if it isn't. there's nothing worse than being disloyal to your family.)"

- posted by Alan Grey @ Tuesday, July 11, 2006